Monthly Archives: October 2017

  • FLABinati The Rules

    Flabinati Logo

    Rule #1// Re–write the rules

    Rule #2// Lead from behind

    Rule #3// It’s all about the pie

    Rule #4// No excuses, unless you’ve got an excuse

    Rule #5// FLAB the man up! (FLAB the woman up too!)

    Rule #6// Cake isn't optional, it's essential!

    Rule #7// The correct number of cakes to have is C+1 where C is the number of cakes already eaten

    Rule #8// Coffee and tea must match the cake choice....

    Rule #9// Refer to weight as “potential energy” it’s what makes you go faster down hill, than those with less of it

    Rule #10// Represent the FLAB always – any passing cyclist must be greeted with a cheerless “now then”

    Rule #11// Riders are to be measured by quantity not quality

    Rule #12// Waists and chests are to be measured in inches

    Rule #13// Free your waistband and your legs will follow

    Rule #14// Enjoy rather than endure

    Rule #15// You’ve got a 32? Use it! If you haven’t, get one. *Addendum A 34 is also acceptable as is a triple

    Rule #16// All cyclists faster up hill than you shall be referred to as ‘hill whippets’

    Rule #17// Fat shall be referred to as potential muscle

    Rule #18// When you put on a FLAB jersey you instantly get 30,000 friends*at time of printing. Subject to change

    Rule #19// All fellow FLAB wearers will be greeted with an enthusiastic Ey Up/pat on the back/hug

    Rule #20// Guide the Bulge

    Rule #21// All rides must end with or include a refreshment stop

    Rule #22// A FLAB out cycling in any weather is badass

    Rule #23// Be self-stufficient - always carry pies

    Rule #24// Beer is as a hydration fluid

    Rule #25// FLAB kit is for members of the Bulge

    Rule #26// Like your tums, saddles should be smooth and comfortable

    Rule #27// Cycling efficiency is to be measured in miles per donut

    Rule #28// There are only three remedies for hunger:

    Pies
    Cake
    Butties

    Rule #29// Join us and be proud

    Rule #30// The rules are dead, long live the rules

    Rule #31// The correct number of gadgets to own is G + 1 where G is the number of gadgets already owned

    With thanks to Velominati and their inspiring collection of The Rules  - To submit your suggestions to our tongue in cheek (should that be pie in cheek?) version, please email fatlads@fatladattheback.com

    http://www.velominati.com/the-rules/

    FLABinati Rules 1 -30

     

  • LADY BITS

    Lady Bits

    Uncomfortable undercarriage discussions crop up frequently over on our community forum and it’s an issue which effects both men and women with people seeking recommendations for comfortable saddles and anti-chaffing creams.

     

    bits

    For us lasses, {however} the added inconvenience of monthly cycles (*Lads if you are still reading now, you only have yourselves to blame!) and hormonal changes means that intimate discomfort is a common issue, yet it’s a subject that’s rarely discussed in any detail. So here goes……

    As a former Breeze Coordinator, Breeze Champion and as a FLambassador I’ve had conversations about this with dozens of women and here’s the accumulation of our shared experiences!

     

    MONTHLY CYCLES

    mooncup

    MOONCUPS

    Everything you need to know about mooncups

    I’d never heard of them either until I read a book about ultra distance cycling and coping with periods on the road and in countries where sanitary products are not readily available.

    TAMPONS or SANITARY TOWELS

    tampons-or-pads1

    Tampons may seem like the obvious option but they’re not for everyone! Mooncups are a very environmentally friendly way of taking care of things and a couple of my friends wouldn’t be without theirs, but some lasses (me included) prefer sanitary towels.

    I don’t wear pants and just place the sanitary towel directly onto the pad of my shorts. I then place a small amount of chamois cream on the wings to prevent chafing and it works a treat for me. If I’m on a long ride I carry a few spares and some nappy sacs. Sometimes I’ll pop behind a bush (no pun intended!) to change and then dispose of it at the next loo stop.

    Intimate discomfort

    So, you’re saddle is sorted, you’ve got your padded shorts, you’re (probably)  riding knicker less and you’re used to riding during your period!

    Everything is great – YES?

    Well for me – NO!

    In the last couple of years, I started to experience extreme ‘internal’ discomfort - dryness, irritation and excruciating pain whilst trying to pee! It was so bad I thought I was going to have to give up cycling altogether but one day I went to my local pharmacy and explained in hushed tones what I was feeling. She recommended Canesten intimate moisture which helps the irritation and internal dryness caused by the friction of cycling and by approaching menopause. She also advised that if there was no improvement in a couple of days to see my GP but I’m pleased to say it’s been a game changer for me. I use it inside before I ride and then apply chamois cream externally and my under carriage is happy again. Canesintima_Intimate-Moisturiser-and-bottle

    Vagisil-Medicated-Cream-820522

     

    A similar conversation popped up on the FLAB community forum a few weeks ago with some lasses also using a cream called Vagisil which helps with itching in the intimate area along with the intimate moisturiser and chamois cream application on the outside calling it the recipe for ‘OUCH BE GONE’ and ‘ITCH BE GONE’

     

     

    BIKINI LINES

    I always thought waxing was the best way to avoid saddle soreness, though I must admit I did occasionally suffer with sores and ingrowing hairs but in 2016 I read this article about the Ladies Olympic cycling team being advised to rethink their intimate grooming regimes. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-3743239/Why-Olympic-cyclists-DON-T-wax-bikini-lines-Pubic-hair-protects-against-saddle-soreness.html

    razor

    I took the advice and stopped waxing and can confirm that after cycling for 14 days consecutively across France my under carriage was in tip top shape with no ingrown hairs or saddle sores.

     

    So hopefully that’s some of your undercarriage questions answered. If you got this far and you’re a lad, please refer to paragraph 2* if you’re a lass, remember this is not medical advise and you must consult your GP about any issues you have!

    Happy Cycling!

2 Item(s)