flabinati

  • FLABinati The Rules

    Flabinati Logo

    Rule #1// Re–write the rules

    Rule #2// Lead from behind

    Rule #3// It’s all about the pie

    Rule #4// No excuses, unless you’ve got an excuse

    Rule #5// FLAB the man up! (FLAB the woman up too!)

    Rule #6// Cake isn't optional, it's essential!

    Rule #7// The correct number of cakes to have is C+1 where C is the number of cakes already eaten

    Rule #8// Coffee and tea must match the cake choice....

    Rule #9// Refer to weight as “potential energy” it’s what makes you go faster down hill, than those with less of it

    Rule #10// Represent the FLAB always – any passing cyclist must be greeted with a cheerless “now then”

    Rule #11// Riders are to be measured by quantity not quality

    Rule #12// Waists and chests are to be measured in inches

    Rule #13// Free your waistband and your legs will follow

    Rule #14// Enjoy rather than endure

    Rule #15// You’ve got a 32? Use it! If you haven’t, get one. *Addendum A 34 is also acceptable as is a triple

    Rule #16// All cyclists faster up hill than you shall be referred to as ‘hill whippets’

    Rule #17// Fat shall be referred to as potential muscle

    Rule #18// When you put on a FLAB jersey you instantly get 30,000 friends*at time of printing. Subject to change

    Rule #19// All fellow FLAB wearers will be greeted with an enthusiastic Ey Up/pat on the back/hug

    Rule #20// Guide the Bulge

    Rule #21// All rides must end with or include a refreshment stop

    Rule #22// A FLAB out cycling in any weather is badass

    Rule #23// Be self-stufficient - always carry pies

    Rule #24// Beer is as a hydration fluid

    Rule #25// FLAB kit is for members of the Bulge

    Rule #26// Like your tums, saddles should be smooth and comfortable

    Rule #27// Cycling efficiency is to be measured in miles per donut

    Rule #28// There are only three remedies for hunger:

    Pies
    Cake
    Butties

    Rule #29// Join us and be proud

    Rule #30// The rules are dead, long live the rules

    Rule #31// The correct number of gadgets to own is G + 1 where G is the number of gadgets already owned

    With thanks to Velominati and their inspiring collection of The Rules  - To submit your suggestions to our tongue in cheek (should that be pie in cheek?) version, please email fatlads@fatladattheback.com

    http://www.velominati.com/the-rules/

    FLABinati Rules 1 -30

     

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