Create an Account to get £5 Off your 1st Order and Big Fat Loyalty Points on your Purchases

FLABinati The Rules

Flabinati Logo



Rule #1// Re–write the rules Rule #2// Lead from behind Rule #3// It’s all about the pie Rule #4// No excuses, unless you’ve got an excuse Rule #5// FLAB the man up! (FLAB the woman up too!) Rule #6// Cake isn't optional, it's essential! Rule #7// The correct number of cakes to have is C+1 where C is the number of cakes already eaten Rule #8// Coffee and tea must match the cake choice.... Rule #9// Refer to weight as “potential energy” it’s what makes you go faster down hill, than those with less of it Rule #10// Represent the FLAB always – any passing cyclist must be greeted with a cheerless “now then” Rule #11// Riders are to be measured by quantity not quality Rule #12// Waists and chests are to be measured in inches Rule #13// Free your waistband and your legs will follow Rule #14// Enjoy rather than endure Rule #15// You’ve got a 32? Use it! If you haven’t, get one. *Addendum A 34 is also acceptable as is a triple Rule #16// All cyclists faster up hill than you shall be referred to as ‘hill whippets’ Rule #17// Fat shall be referred to as potential muscle Rule #18// When you put on a FLAB jersey you instantly get 30,000 friends*at time of printing. Subject to change Rule #19// All fellow FLAB wearers will be greeted with an enthusiastic Ey Up/pat on the back/hug Rule #20// Guide the Bulge Rule #21// All rides must end with or include a refreshment stop






Rule #22// A FLAB out cycling in any weather is badass Rule #23// Be self-stufficient - always carry pies Rule #24// Beer is as a hydration fluid Rule #25// FLAB kit is for members of the Bulge Rule #26// Like your tums, saddles should be smooth and comfortable Rule #27// Cycling efficiency is to be measured in miles per donut Rule #28// There are only three remedies for hunger: Pies Cake Butties Rule #29// Join us and be proud Rule #30// The rules are dead, long live the rules Rule #31// The correct number of gadgets to own is G + 1 where G is the number of gadgets already owned With thanks to Velominati and their inspiring collection of The Rules  - To submit your suggestions to our tongue in cheek (should that be pie in cheek?) version, please email fatlads@fatladattheback.com http://www.velominati.com/the-rules/



FLABinati Rules 1 -30